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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579250">i don’t want to be your friend (I wanna kiss your lips)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavelle16/pseuds/Lavelle16'>Lavelle16</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Women’s Soccer RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:02:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavelle16/pseuds/Lavelle16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jordan hums in agreement as she goes through the team in her head until she reaches the final solution.</p><p>“Guess the only one that’s left, is me”</p><p>Leah doesn’t say anything as she looks at her, an eyebrow raised and something flashes in her eyes before she slumps against the couch again. </p><p>“Don’t be stupid” she huffs</p><p>“What’s stupid about it?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leah Williamson/Jordan Nobbs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i don’t want to be your friend (I wanna kiss your lips)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Enjoy I guess :) </p><p>Title from I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sound of Leah’s voice floats through the open balcony door. Jordan can’t make out what she’s saying but just hearing the soft murmurs make her feel slightly calmer. She’s trying to arrange a soccer clinic for next week but she can’t seem to figure out a time. She’s looking at her schedule for that Wednesday when Leah walks back in, sliding the door shut after her. She collapses on the couch beside her and sighs in frustration. Jordan rolls her eyes to herself but just ignores her, knowing Leah is just being dramatic. </p><p>Leah sighs even louder and slouches down further in her seat. Jordan relents and half closes the lid of her laptop as she looks over at her.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” she asks in a monotone voice but it’s all Leah needs as she immediately sits up and launches into a rant. </p><p>“My cousin Amy is getting married in July, you remember her right?, and my mum was asking if I had a date for it and I may have accidentally said yes. I didn’t mean to but if I turn up by myself then she’ll try to set me up with Mason and we’ve been dealing with that since we were sixteen and I can’t deal with it anymore and I don’t know what to do”</p><p>She fell back against the couch when she finished and Jordan turned back to her laptop to pull up her calender now that she had indulged Leah.</p><p>“Alright, so why don’t you just bring a friend or something? Keira’s always up for those kinds of things”</p><p>“Apart from the fact that Keira will be basically glued to Lucy when she comes back, I told my mum it was a romantic date and she knows Keira’s with Lucy”</p><p>Jordan turns back and sees Leah slouched there with her arms crossed and a frown on her face. Leah makes it seem like it’s a life or death situation and she can’t help the laugh that escapes.</p><p>“Jordan” Leah whines “It’s not funny”</p><p>“Sorry” she apologizes, a smile still on her face “Why don’t you just ask something to pretend to go with you as your girlfriend? I’m sure one of the girls on the team would do it.”</p><p>“What?” she says defensively when she sees Leah looking at her in disbelief “It’s not the stupidest idea I’ve had”</p><p>“Even if I did agree to that, and that’s a big if, who would even do it?”</p><p>“I guess it would have to be one of the English girl since the others will probably be gone home for the summer” Jordan said thoughtfully  “Alright, how about Beth?”</p><p>“Too in love with Daan” Leah dismisses easily and Jordan nods in agreement at the stupidity of her own suggestion.</p><p>“Dan?”</p><p>“Please, she’s way too mean to me to trick anyone into thinking we were together”</p><p>Jordan hums in agreement as she goes through the team in her head until she reaches the final solution.</p><p>“Guess the only one that’s left, is me”</p><p>Leah doesn’t say anything as she looks at her, an eyebrow raised and something flashes in her eyes before she slumps against the couch again. </p><p>“Don’t be stupid” she huffs</p><p>“What’s stupid about it?” Jordan knows she’s digging a hole for herself, one that will be almost impossible to get out of and she takes a brief moment to wonder how much of a masochist she is before continuing on “Your mum already loves me, I’ll just be sitting around the apartment that week anyway and do you really think you’re going to find someone that you could put up with?</p><p>“You wouldn’t mind?” </p><p>Leah’s voice is soft and hesitant for the first time that night and it’s that tone that makes Jordan reach over to a place a hand over hers, rubbing her thumb comfortingly over the back of Leah's hand. There’s a moment where she wants to laugh and say she was messing obviously but it passes and she knows it would be suspicious to back down now.</p><p>“‘Course I wouldn’t Lee”</p><p>The moment suddenly seems too intimate so Jordan takes her hand back and opens up her laptop again, desperate to say anything to get rid of this weird tension between them.</p><p>“If there’s free food I’ll be there” she jokes shakily but it’s enough when Leah lets out a small snort of amusement </p><p>“That’s true. Tea?”</p><p>“Yes please”</p><p>Jordan watches her walk into the kitchen and hears her pulling out cups and teabags as if she lived here as well.  Jordan suddenly realizes how domestic this would seem to anyone.It happens so often that Jordan can basically predict the rest of the evening. Leah would come out with their tea, a spoon of honey in each and they’d turn on the next episode of Grey’s Anatomy and curl up together on the couch until Leah would fall asleep on Jordan and she’d have to carry her to her bed in the spare room. </p><p>They even keep a change of clothes and spare pajamas at each others apartments for this kind of thing.</p><p>Maybe it’ll be their easy rhythm around each other that would sell them at the wedding. Thinking about that was weird. Pretending she was love in with Leah would be easy, her feelings never that well hidden anyway but the hard part would be controlling them. Showing just enough affection that Leah’s family and friends buy it but not enough that the girl in question realizes it herself.</p><p>Not for the first time, Jordan curses her inability to think before she talks.</p><p>********</p><p>“So, I guess we need a story”</p><p>Jordan’s in the middle of eating her eggs when Leah speaks up. Her mind is still half fogging, only being awake for less than half an hour and she takes a drink of her orange juice as she tries to figure out what Leah’s talking about.</p><p>“For what?” she says when she finally swallows</p><p>“Is your memory seriously that bad?” Leah laughs kicking her softly under the table. Jordan catches her leg and holds it between her own as Leah explains “For my mum when she asks how and when we got together”</p><p>“Oh yeah” Jordan yawns and scratches at her cheek thoughtfully “I hadn’t thought about that”</p><p>“Figures” Leah mumbles as she rolls her eyes. </p><p>“Hey.” Jordan protests  “It’s not my fault you’re much better at thinking of those kinds of things than I am”</p><p>“You’re seriously just going to leave me to work out everything?” Leah raises an eyebrow at her. </p><p>“What’s there to think about?” Jordan pushes around her eggs as she talks, anything to avoid having to look Leah directly in her eyes “Let’s just say I asked you to dinner after training and you didn’t tell her about it yet ‘cause we’re taking it slow” </p><p>Jordan ignores the thought that rises of  how many times she had imagined asking Leah out and planning the first date to make sure everything was perfect. She ignores how many times she’s also imagined the painful rejection. </p><p>“You really think you’d be the one to ask me out?”</p><p>“100% I would be” Jordan teases, grinning widely as her heart skips when Leah softly brushes her foot against Jordan’s under the table. She had almost forgotten she had trapped it there earlier .</p><p>Leah lets it go, laughing softly but there’s something off about it. Jordan wouldn’t have noticed it from anyone else but she’s been so in tune with Leah for the last three years that she can immediately tell it’s not genuine. </p><p>“Are you sure you’re ok with this? We don’t have to do it” she asks hesitantly. </p><p>“Yeah of course, I really can’t deal with any more disastrous set ups by my mum” Leah flashes her another smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes and stands up from the table, untangling their feet abruptly. </p><p>“I’d better start booking tickets, the wedding’s in Portland for some reason” </p><p>Leah dropped her dishes in the sink and walked out to the living room, leaving Jordan by herself with cold eggs and the itching feeling that somethings not quite right. </p><p>\\\\\</p><p>“I still can’t believe I had to get my own ticket and my mum paid for yours” Leah grumbled as she clips on her seatbelt and shuffled around in her plane seat.</p><p>“I told you she likes me better” Jordan laughed quietly as she rummaged through her bag “Damn I forgot my earphones”</p><p>“Here” Leah held out left earbud “I knew you would”</p><p>“Thanks” Jordan reaches for the earbud, ignoring the butterflies that rise when their fingers brush.</p><p>Leah’s already turned to look out the window, yawning once before she closes her eyes. Jordan knows she won’t wake up for the rest of the flight and praises herself for remembering to grab the middle seat so she can get to the bathroom relatively easily. </p><p>Leah’s head turns in her sleep, moving around until it lands comfortably on Jordans shoulder. Jordan drops her shoulder a bit so it’s more comfortable and glances down at Leah. Her mouth is slightly open and Jordan can feel her soft breaths against her collarbone. The sun shines in the small airplane window and illuminates the soft dusting of freckles that are scattered across Leah’s nose.</p><p>Jordan feels the weight of her feelings hitting her squarely in the chest, taking her breath away and she struggles to breathe for a moment even though there’s nothing particularly different about this moment considering it happens most times on long bus trips home from away games. </p><p>Maybe it’s because they’re on their way to a wedding where they’ll have to pretend to be together for at least five days while Jordan also has to manage not to fall more in love with the girl asleep on her shoulder.</p><p>From how that day’s already started, it’s definitely not going to be easy.</p><p>*********</p><p>“A bed. Thank God” Jordan exclaims dramatically when they finally arrive at the their hotel room. She drops her bags at the end of it and flops on to it dramatically “Wait, why is there only one bed?”</p><p>“Well, it was my mum that booked the room and considering we’re supposed to be madly in love it would seem a bit weird if I asked for separate beds”</p><p>Jordan’s heart sinks when she hears ‘supposed to be madly in love’ but she laughs it off, deflecting with a joke to distract herself.</p><p>“I didn’t know I’d have to put up with your constant kicking when you sleep”</p><p>“I don’t not kick!” Leah denied, grabbing a pillow and hitting Jordan with it.</p><p>There’s a mischievous smile on Jordan’s face when she sits up and chucks the pillow back at Leah. Before she knows it, they’re chasing each other around the room like children. Jordan’s kneeling on the bed with her pillow raised when Leah jumps at her, tackling her and Jordan ends up on her back with Leah towering over her. Her laughter slowly dies as she realizes the position they’re in. Leah has her hands pinned beside her head and is keeping her in place with her own weight, her legs on either side of Jordan’s hips.</p><p>There’s complete silence in the room apart from their heavy breathing and Jordan feels a blush rise on her cheeks as her brain short-circuits. Leah’s eyes drop to her lips for just a spilt second, so quick that Jordan thinks she imagines it and then she’s gone, rolling off Jordan and onto her back beside her. </p><p>“I’m going to get ready for bed” </p><p>Leah’s voice is too loud for Jordan’s ears and she can’t say anything so she just nods and watches Leah disappear into the bathroom. She takes a minute to catch her breath before she starts getting her own pajamas from her bag, ignoring the still present blush in hopes that it’ll go away sooner than later. </p><p>They’re quiet for the rest of the night, moving around each other in a way that you get used to after years of friendship and Jordan’s heartbeat has just returned to normal when she climbs into bed where Leah already is, flickering through the T.V. channels. She settles on some dating show and they watch in silence that’s only broken when Jordan mutters a comment about a contestants horrible suit and Leah giggles softly. Just like that, they’re back to normal like nothing happened.</p><p>‘Which is true’ Jordan has to remind herself ‘Nothing happened’</p><p>She repeats it to herself to try get rid of the niggling hope in her head that reminds her of how much she wishes something had.</p><p>*********</p><p>Jordan wakes up to an empty bed and the sound of a shower running. She’s scrolling through Instagram when Leah comes out of the bathroom with only a towel around her. Jordan glances up casually and instantly feels her mouth go dry. She drops here eyes back to her phone and tries to stop her mind from wandering.</p><p>“What’s the plans for today?” she asks, relieved when her voice is only slightly hoarse</p><p>“There’s a lake only a few minutes away that I thought we could walk to and maybe go out to lunch but nothing big since we’re going out for drinks tomorrow”</p><p>“Sounds good” Jordan coughs and doesn’t look up again until the bathroom door closes again. She hops up and grabs some clothes to change into after her own shower and desperately tries to rid her mind of the image of Leah in the too small hotel towel.</p><p>********</p><p>They’ve been walking along the lake for almost an hour when Jordan spots a coffee shop that she persuades Leah to stop at.</p><p>There’s almost no one in there when they walk in apart from a couple at the far end and a girl on her computer inside the door. They order quickly and move to stand over at the end of counter.</p><p>“I swear Jordan, you better still be hungry for lunch after that muffin” Leah warns</p><p>“Please Lee have you met me? Of course I will” Jordan wraps an arm around her waist to tickle at her side and is rewarded with a small smile as Leah squirms away</p><p>“You’re lucky you’re paying for this otherwise I wouldn’t have stopped”</p><p>“Sure sure sure” Jordan agrees sarcastically as they move closer to the counter when they see their drinks are almost ready.</p><p>“You guys are so cute, you make me miss my girlfriend” They turn to see the barista smiling at them as he hands them their drink “Are you together long?”</p><p>Leah answers before Jordan can, dropping an arm around her neck and pulling her in closer.</p><p>“Officially, it’s been two months but I liked her for a while before that” she turns to grin at Jordan and says her next sentence as if she’s talking to her “She just couldn’t pick up on the hints I was dropping”</p><p>The barista laughs as he pushes Jordans muffin across the counter “Yeah my girlfriend said she was waiting months for me to catch on”</p><p>Jordan smiles at him and ducks out from under Leah's arm to pick up her muffin, the contact suddenly too much for her to deal with. They walk out of the coffee shop in relatively silence and continue down their path around the lake as Jordan chews thoughtfully on her muffin.</p><p>They hadn’t even been trying to act like a couple there and they were still mistaken. And what was with Leah's answer? Was she just practicing for the wedding? Or was the impossible an option? Did Leah actually feel that way?</p><p>There were too many questions swirling around Jordan's head for her to answer and she didn’t even realize Leah was talking until she was stopped by a hand on her arm.</p><p>“Sorry?”</p><p>“I asked if you wanted to go for lunch now?” Leah frowned at her and dropped her hand.</p><p>Jordan missed the warmth from it immediately.</p><p>“Is everything alright? Was I too much in the coffee shop? I just wanted to be ready for the wedding”</p><p>So Jordan was right. She was just practicing and her answer was completely made up for the purpose of this stupid arrangement that Jordan hated more and more every second.</p><p>“No it was fine” she lies as she searches for a believable excuse “I was just thinking of how we’re going to beat Chelsea next year with all our injuries”</p><p>Leah’s frown relaxed into a smile even though it was still guarded. “I should’ve known you’d talk about football at some point this week”</p><p>“You know me” she grins shakily back “Can’t get it off my mind”</p><p>Leah nods and turns to keep walking. Jordan raises an eyebrow at the lack of any teasing comments but then Leah suggests lunch and she nods quickly, her thoughts instantly occupied by possible lunch options.</p><p>********</p><p>“Are you almost ready to go yet?” Jordan yells from where she’s lying out on the bed “We were supposed to be there like ten minutes ago”</p><p>“Almost done” Leah shouts from the bathroom and Jordan rolls her eyes at the blatant lie.</p><p>“Ok, I’m ready”</p><p>The ‘finally’ dies on Jordan’s tongue as she sits up on her elbows to look at Leah.</p><p>The red dress she picked for their night out quite literally took Jordans breath away. It hugs her figure perfectly and matched her lipstick, bringing Jordans attention there straight away. Her hair was curled and flowed down past her bare shoulders, half falling over her shoulders. Jordan suddenly felt underdressed in her ripped jeans and leather jacket.</p><p>“You look….incredible” she breathed out, still so overwhelmed </p><p>“Thanks, so do you” Leah tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and held out her hand for Jordan to take “You ready to make every single person jealous?”</p><p>Jordan swallowed down the lump in her throat at the reminder of their fake relationship and slid her hand into Leah’s “They’re going to be jealous the minute I walk in with the most beautiful girl there”</p><p>Leah blushes and leads them out of the room without saying anything but she squeezes Jordan's hand while they wait for the elevator and her small, soft smile immediately relaxes Jordan.</p><p>********</p><p>They’ve been at this bar for the last two hours and Jordan’s feeling comfortably buzzed. There’s around twelve of them in the group and Jordan's first hour consisted of meeting some of Leah’s cousins that she hadn’t before and catching up with those she had. </p><p>She had taken a break from dancing to sit in a booth with Amy, the soon to be bride while they watched the other girls on the dancefloor. </p><p>“Honestly, I didn’t think it would take this long” Amy half shouts to be heard over the music and Jordan tears her eyes away from where she’s watching Leah dancing with one of the new cousins Jordan had meet that night. ‘Lisa’ she recalls.</p><p>When she turns around, Amy’s smiling at her and Jordan shifts closer so they can talk a bit easier.</p><p>“Sorry?”</p><p>“When I met you last year, I thought you were already together. I didn’t think it would take this long for her to make a move”</p><p>Jordan’s glad for the loud music that hides the shakiness in her laugh. “If I was waiting for her, I’d still be single. I asked her out actually”</p><p>“Oh, that does make sense. I don’t think Leah even knew she liked you but with you, the heart eyes were kind of obvious”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve always sucked at hiding how I feel I guess” Jordan smiles weakly and excuses herself to get another drink. </p><p>While she waits for her drink she turns around and her eyes scan the room until they land on Leah. It’s like she’s a magnet that Jordan’s instantly drawn to. She thinks back to what Amy had said.</p><p>‘With you the heart eyes were kind of obvious’</p><p>Was it clear to everyone? Should she just have ‘In Love With Leah Williamson’ tattooed across her forehead? She thought she was good at hiding her feelings since Leah had never said anything to her about it.</p><p>Or maybe she did know. Maybe she had figured it out but just didn’t say anything because she didn’t feel the same and didn’t want to change anything so she just never brought it up?</p><p>Jordan turned back to the bar and took a swing of her drink, letting the alcohol burn its way down her throat and tried to focus on that instead. </p><p>“Hey”</p><p>An arm swings around her neck and she can tell straight away that it’s Leah standing there, her body heating up in reaction, the way it only did around her.</p><p>“Hey” she smiled and took drink another to have something to do with her hands before she did something stupid like tuck that stray hair behind Leah’s ear.</p><p>“I’m tired” Leah yawned, her breath hitting the side of Jordans neck, making her knees go weak and she grabbed the bar so she won’t fall over.</p><p>“Time to head back to the hotel then, yeah?” </p><p>Leah just nods instead of answering, wrapping her arm around Jordan’s shoulders and Jordan focuses on getting them across the bar and out the door instead of the way her skin is burning everywhere they’re touching. </p><p>The five minute walk to the hotel turns into fifteen and Jordan’s never been happier to see an elevator in her life. By the time they’ve reached the room and Jordan’s shimmied her keycard out of her pocket, she’s almost forgotten what Amy had said. </p><p>Almost.</p><p>It’s an ever present thought in her head even as she gets Leah ready for bed, picking out her pajamas and changing her quickly.</p><p>“Thanks Jord” Leah mumbles as she settles under the duvet. “Love you” </p><p>It’s just two slurred words that mean nothing to Leah but Jordan feels her heart jump at them and she doesn’t say anything back, just smiles sadly and presses a soft kiss to Leah’s hairline.</p><p>********</p><p>She falls asleep in the armchair that night.</p><p>********</p><p>They spend the next two days lounging around the hotel pool, pushing each other under and playing games they haven’t played since they were kids. </p><p>On the day before the wedding, Leah's mum invites them out to lunch and all Jordan can think about is how fake this is and how Leah’s mum would be able to tell straight away.</p><p>“Are you worried about the lunch?”</p><p>Jordan’s standing in front of the mirror in their hotel room nervously examining her outfit for the third time. Leah’s sprawled out on the bed behind her, texting to confirm the time with her mum.</p><p>“What happened to ‘your mum loves me?’”</p><p>“She loved me as your friend. Now I’m going to be meeting her as your girlfriend” Jordan stresses, tugging at the bottom of her jacket. </p><p>Leah slides off the bed and comes to stand behind her, resting her chin on Jordan's head. “She’ll love you Jord, you know that”</p><p>Jordan sighed and blamed the nerves for how fast her heart was beating and not on the girl whose hands were softly rubbing up and down her arms.</p><p>“Alright. Let’s go then”</p><p>********</p><p>It’s easy enough, the lunch. Jordan has met Leah’s mum countless times over the year and is even on a first name basis with her so she relaxes into the lunch after a while. She keeps an arm draped around the back of Leah’s chair and makes sure to send her a loving smile every so often to really sell it.</p><p>(Of course she would have done that anyway but she’s more aware of those things now)</p><p>They spilt a dessert and Leah blushes when her mum comments on how cute they are. It’s all rather painfully normal but when Jordan hugs Leah’s mum goodbye, she pulls her closer and whispers ‘it’s about time’ in her ear.</p><p>********</p><p>It plays on a loop in Jordan’s head the whole walk back.</p><p>********</p><p>Leah doesn’t say anything about her silence that night but she tucks her into her chest a little bit tighter when they watch T.V. that night and Jordan falls asleep to her gently stroking her hair.</p><p>********</p><p>The wedding is held in a beautiful chapel and her and Leah get seats half way up the aisle. She sits in between Leah and one of her younger cousins who couldn’t be much older than twelve. </p><p>The ceremony is beautiful and the vows are heartfelt. When Amy’s fiancee promises her forever with such an earnest smile on his face, Leah sniffles and Jordan wordlessly hands her a tissue she had brought for this exact reason. Leah whispers a thank you and leans her head on Jordan’s shoulder for the rest of the ceremony.  She ignores the butterflies that she’s used to and slides her hand into Leah’s to squeeze it gently.</p><p>********</p><p>An image flashes in her head of Leah standing opposite her at the end of an aisle with a smile as wide as Amy’s and eyes as blue as the ocean on a mid summers day wearing a ring that matches Jordans on her left hand.</p><p>She blinks and the image is gone but it stays in the back of her mind for the rest of the day.</p><p>********</p><p>She’s sitting alone at a table just to the side of the dancefloor watching Leah spin around one of the flower girls who’s laughing, red with excitement.  The song ends and Leah turns back and starts to walk towards the table Jordan’s sitting at. She gets up to meet her halfway, sliding their hands together and leading Leah back to the middle of the room.</p><p>“Jordan” she whines playfully “I was just going for a break”</p><p>“It’s a slow song Lee. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t dance with you?” she smiles but even using the word ‘girlfriend’ herself stings </p><p>Leah smiles at her gently and moves one hand up to shoulder while Jordan uses her now free hand to grip Leah’s waist and pull her closer. They drift around the dance floor in a lazy figure eight and Jordan tries to focus on the song instead of Leah but it proves almost impossible.</p><p>Leah smells sweet, the perfume that she always wears barely there but Jordan’s so closer to her that it fills her nose. Leah’s fingers scratch absentmindedly at Jordan's shoulder and she can hear her soft breaths clearly from above her ear. </p><p>“Your mum’s looking at us” she says lightly and almost loses her grips when Leah’s light laughter echoes in her ear.</p><p>“Wouldn’t be surprised if she was holding up a sign that said ‘KISS!’”</p><p>Jordan’s breath hitches but she recovers quickly “Well, it is something girlfriends would do”</p><p>Maybe too quickly.</p><p>Leahs pulls back slightly so she can look down at Jordan and the familiar raised eyebrow look od disbelief is back.</p><p>“Would you be ok with that?”</p><p>Jordan shrugs as if her whole body isn’t buzzing with the thoughts of Leah’s lips on her own.</p><p>“It’s what I agreed to isn’t it?”</p><p>Leah just looks at her in a way Jordan’s never seen before and with an expression that, for the first time, she can’t figure out.</p><p>“Yeah I guess it is” Leah breathes out lightly</p><p>Jordan doesn’t say anything. Can’t think of anything. Instead she pushes up on her tiptoes until she’s a breath away from Leah's lips. She looks up one last time before she closes the gap.</p><p>The noise of the band and everyone’s excited chatter around them fades away until the only thing she can hear is her heartbeat pounding in her ears. All she can feel is Leah. All she can taste is Leah and her whole world is overtaken by Leah. Her hand still on Jordan’s shoulder as it pulls Jordan in closer to her. Leah’s leading this dance and Jordan happily follows. </p><p>When they pull apart at last, that slow song is still playing but everything else has changed. </p><p>“Leah! Jordan!”</p><p>They both turn at the same time to see Mason walking towards them with a drink in each hand.</p><p>“Hey girls” he smiles when he reaches them and Jordan’s never been happier to see him.</p><p>“Hey” she gasps back and gestures behind her with her thumb “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll let you guys catch up”</p><p>She doesn’t wait for an answer before she’s walking away as quickly as she can without running. Thankfully it’s empty when she gets there so she can throw water on her face without anybody giving her weird looks. She waits until her breathing slows down to she pull her phone out but she pauses with her thumb hovering over Lucy’s number. What would she even say to her?</p><p>‘I pretended to be Leah’s girlfriend and that somehow didn’t go to plan? Help, we kissed and now our friendship is over?’</p><p>In the end she tucks it back in her dress pocket and heads back out to the ballroom, determined not to let this get to her. Friends kiss all the time, right?</p><p>She swallows down the lump in her throat and ignores the voice in her head that tells her things will never be the same</p><p>********</p><p>They don’t talk about it.</p><p>They spend the rest of the night together and go back to the hotel to fall asleep on opposite sides of the same bed and they don’t talk about it.</p><p>They fly back to England and Leah falls asleep against the window, Jordan’s shoulder feeling lighter than it should and they don’t talk about it.</p><p>They ignore each other for a month and training starts again so they work together on the pitch and while they’re off it, they still don’t talk about it.</p><p>Jordan’s apartment has never felt so empty before. Sometimes she’ll throw on a t-shirt before she realizes it’s too big or she’ll pick up Leah’s favourite brand of yoghurts while she’s in the shop and she finds that she can’t breathe for the next few minutes. </p><p>The girls can sense something’s up but none of them say anything. Maybe they think they’ll figure things out. Maybe they will if Jordan can stop thinking about kissing Leah everytime she looks at her or if she can hold eye contact for more than two seconds but that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon so Jordan puts her head down and focuses on training and tries to pretend like she doesn't cry herself to sleep most nights. </p><p>********</p><p>Of course it’s Lucy that finally talks to her about it.</p><p>She had come back to City that summer, finally finished with the challenge of the French league and after one of their matches that ended with Arsenal 2-1 winners, her and Keira invited Jordan and Leah out for dinner.</p><p>She can’t say no without admitting that something’s going on so that’s how she finds herself beside Leah in a too small booth with Keira and Lucy examining them from across the table. </p><p>Thankfully neither of them say anything as they eat even though the tension between them seems obvious. Instead they focus on neutral topics like the next England camp, Narla and of course, football. At the moment, Lucy’s telling them some story about a prank she’d pulled with Shanice van de Sanden before she’d left Lyon but Jordan can’t concentrate on anything she’s saying. </p><p>Instead she’s looking at how well her and Keira fit together. Lucy’s using her right hand for gestures while her left ones settled on Keira’s thigh. Keira’s turned in slightly to Lucy, almost as if it’s a subconscious movement for her to want to be as close to Lucy as possible.</p><p>She thinks about how her and Leah are sitting as far away as possible from each other, their phones and jackets creating a little barrier from where they placed between them on the seat and how different it would have been a few weeks ago.</p><p>She’s pulled from her thoughts when Keira announces her and Leah are going to get another round, leaving her there with Lucy and her intense gaze.</p><p>“Did you two sleep together or something?”</p><p>Jordan spits out the drink she’d just taken and it takes a few minutes for her coughing fit to stop.</p><p>“What? No! Why would you think that?” she sputters out </p><p>“Chill out dude” Lucy raises her eyebrows at her reaction “It’s just pretty obvious something happened. You’re acting like fourteen year olds that had your first kiss. So are you going to tell me what happened?”</p><p>“We kissed” Jordan muttered</p><p>“And?” Lucy prompts </p><p>Jordan dabs at the water she spilled, avoiding eye contact as she tells Lucy about the wedding and Jordan’s own stupid idea to pretend to be girlfriends.</p><p>“And you’re avoiding her why?” </p><p>“Because Lucy” Jordan says through gritted teeth “I’d rather not deal with that painful rejection anytime soon. Besides we’ve been friends for years and I’d rather not lose that friendship over a stupid kiss”</p><p>“There was nothing stupid about it, apart from the whole fake dating thing”</p><p>Jordan rolls her eyes but she sees Keira and Leah making their way back form the bar so she doesn’t say anything else.</p><p>“Sounds to me like you’re going to lose the friendship if you keep going like this.” Lucy shrugs before the girls arrive  “Just talk to her”</p><p>‘Yeah’ Jordan rolls her eyes to herself ‘Like it’s that easy’</p><p>********</p><p>It’s been two weeks since their dinner and Jordan still hadn’t taken Lucy’s advice. She knows she should, knows that Lucy’s right and the longer they ignore each other, the worse things are going to get but talking leads to talking about the kiss which will lead to rejection and Jordan knows she’s too much of a coward to face that yet. </p><p>They’ve just finished training but Jordan’s one of the last ones into the changing room, deciding to stay out for an extra hour to practice her free kicks. She expects the changing room to be empty but when she walks in Leah’s sitting there with her arms on her knees and her head in her hands.</p><p>“Hey” Jordan croaks out but she doesn’t say anything else or makes any movement to get changed, thrown off-kilter by being alone with Leah for the first time in months. </p><p>“Can we talk?” Leah doesn’t offer any greeting but instead dives right into things</p><p>“Sure” Jordan nervously passes her boot bag to her left hand where she twists it round and round her hand and then releases it to spin back. Anything to distract her right now.</p><p>Leah stands up and walks forward until she stops a few feet away from Jordan.</p><p>“I hate this ignoring or silence or whatever it is we’re doing. I shouldn’t have kissed you at the wedding. You were just being a good friend and I messed that up because I like you and I couldn’t stop myself but I’m really sorry. Can’t we just go back to being friends? I miss you”</p><p>Leah’s looking at her like she’s waiting for her to say something but she can’t. Jordan’s mind is still stuck on ‘because I like you’. Her mouth opens and closes as she searches for the right thing to say.</p><p>“You like me?” she finally asks in disbelief </p><p>“Yeah” One of Leah’s hands come out of her pocket to scratch at the back of her neck, a nervous habit that Jordan recognizes immediately “but it’s just a stupid crush. I can get over it, I promise. I -”</p><p>“You like me?”</p><p>Leah doesn’t say anything. She just drops her head to look at the floor and nods her head slightly. She’s embarrassed, Jordan realizes. She’s telling the truth.</p><p>She’s telling the truth</p><p>Jordan drops her boot bag and strides forward till she’s less than inches away from Leah.</p><p>“Leah” she starts shakily “look at me”</p><p>Leah raises her head slightly and Jordan gazes into bright blue eyes that she’s been deprived of. </p><p>“It’s more than just a stupid crush for me” she breaths “For me, being around you is addictive, seeing you smile literally makes me trip over my own feet and when I hear you laugh it feels like that’s my reason for being on this Earth”</p><p>“Oh” is all Leah says but that’s alright because she’s leaning forward and she’s pressing her lips against Jordan’s and nothing’s ever felt like this before.</p><p>Jordan’s hands drop to her hips to pull her closer and Leah winds her arms around Jordan’s neck, tilting her head to deepen the kiss and - oh </p><p>This must be what heaven feels like.</p><p>They break apart finally, foreheads touching and Leah laughs quiet and happy and Jordan feels her heart soar instead of drop for the first time in months. </p><p>********</p><p>They don’t leave the changing room for another hour.</p><p>********</p><p>Year later when Jordan’s standing at the end of an aisle watching Leah walk towards in a white dress with a smile on her face looking every bit like the angel she is Jordan thinks back to a wedding that lead them to this moment right now and she grins to herself.</p><p>Funny how things work out.</p><p>********</p>
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